Though I felt betrayed when the
Swagat Kaksh at Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi did not pass information about my
father’s illness, I did not assume the worst. I rationalised that they may have
forgotten. Initially, I had doubted them but one sadhak approached me a couple
of days afterwards and apologised for not passing the information.
Sanatan Sanstha rebuilds trust
She said that she had forgotten
to do so and this was her personality defect. It had to be removed. She also
mentioned this during the personality defect removal session in my presence. The
other sadhaks took her for task and told her the seriousness. Because of her, I
had been hurt, I had started doubting the sanstha. She was asked to do penance.
I was also asked about my father’s health and told that Sanatan could provide
good medical care at Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi. It would combine spiritual
treatment as well and hence recovery would be fast. I should call up my parents
immediately. I could not go personally as my education was in a critical phase
and such disturbances would affect it. They had also information that my father
was recovering and the critical phase had passed thanks to my devotion to the
Guru; Dr Jayant Athavale.
Such good thoughts; such affection.
Sanatan Sanstha was really full of people giving selfless service. Look at the
strength of spiritual practise, my father was responding to the positive vibes
generated by my devotion to spirituality. I was now fully convinced that I was
on the right path.
I phoned up my parents
immediately and after apologising, asked them to bring father to Sanatan Ashram
Ponda for treatment. My mother said that he was not able to travel and I should
visit him. I obviously could not do so and could not understand their
insistence. Sanatan Sanstha was going to such trouble and they were not
cooperating? I was sure that this was the effect of evil spirits.
Reflections
I recall the whole incident very
clearly. I remember meeting the friend, the news about my father’s illness, my
self-doubts and Sanatan’s generous offer. I realised the inconsistencies very
late. The story built up by the sanstha had several glaring inconsistencies. I
should have realised them sooner, but my mind was under their control. The major
inconsistency was; how did they come to know that I was aware of my father’s
illness? I
had only told my rakshak and as subsequent incidents proved, she never
shared such personal confidences with Sanatan Sanstha. Why did the sadhak
apologise after several days. My father had suffered from stroke two months
before I knew, so my brother had visited about two months back. Why was this
brought up after such a time difference?
My parents had stopped
communicating after this incident and my offer for treatment at Sanatan Ashram
Ramnathi acted like salt on a wound. I thought it was a generous offer but they
took it in a totally different angle.
I was beyond any rational
reasoning. Sanatan meant such a lot to me, my Guru; Dr Jayant Athavale, meant a
lot to me. Anything else was irrelevant.
