Sanatan Sanstha at Police Station

Despite grave provocation, sadhaks at Sanatan Sanstha stand their ground. The lady sadhak is also firm and reiterates that she wants to seek the guidance of Dr Jayant Athavale to seek spirituality and stay forever at Sanatan Ashram Ponda. She refuses to go back to her parents.

Sanatan Sanstha wins another round

All the action is filmed by sadhaks of Sanatan Sanstha. The media is out in full strength outside Sanatan Ashram Panvel. They are not covering the event live but we are satisfied with their presence. It is happening just in time for the prime evening news and we will get good coverage. A substantial crowd has gathered outside the ashram and we have stationed some of the sadhaks in plain clothes. They are voicing their opinion to the media. This is an important part of the overall strategy and shows the level of planning by sadhaks under the guidance of Dr Jayant Athavale. They oppose anyone criticising Sanatan Sanstha and their numbers ensure that the media listens to them. Some of the local persons are also convinced that the fault lies with the parents and not with the Sanstha. They are our future recruits.

If this is not mind control, then what is this? Is this about spirituality; is Sanatan Sanstha propagating spirituality by this manner?

Action at the police station

But wait, the real action is yet to begin. The drama now shifts to the police station. The lady sadhak and her family are taken to the police station. We depute only a few of our sadhaks there as we are busy preparing for the next stage; a crucial stage – the press conference.

I don’t go to the police station but am able to hear the entire conversation live courtesy a sadhak. My lady sadhak, the disciple of Dr Jayant Athavale does me proud once again. She has lived up to the occasion, she has not faltered anywhere. She gives a clear cut statement that she has left her house on her free will and wants to join Sanatan Sanstha as a full-time devotee. Her parents cannot force her as she is an adult. The game is over for her parents. They lose their emotional balance. They have lost her. Sanatan Sanstha has won again.

The news is conveyed to the media gallery. The parents and her relatives are filmed leaving the station heartbroken and defeated. What a great psychological image; we realise the significance immediately. I realise the importance of the image and keep a copy for further reference. I can visualise the heading in Sanatan Prabhat Marathi. It will read “True Spirituality wins over evil forces” and will carry an image of the lady sadhak and another of her defeated family leaving the police station.  

But, I have other things on my mind. I must prepare for the press conference. I must crown Sanatan Sanstha in such positivity that the image stays in the mind for a long time.

Do I realise the immorality of my act? I have separated a family; I have destroyed a family; all in the name of spirituality. I have acted under the spell of Sanatan Sanstha and Dr Jayant Athavale. My mind is controlled by them. 

Can I ever attain Mooksha? Can I ever redeem my bad Karma?

Grounded again at Sanatan Ashram Ponda

The uproar over the innocent comment refuses to die down at Sanatan Ashram Ponda. I am now officially grounded and barred from any type of seva. I spend the entire day within the ashram premises and can participate only in satsangs or other activities going on at the ashram. It is also conveyed that I can leave Sanatan Sanstha for good and return to my home but in the same manner, I am also told of the effects of doing so.

Prarabdha and Karma

Sanatan tells me that I am suffering because of the prarabdha – fruits of karmas of past lives. Prarabdha has to be experienced in the present life and exhausted in this life itself. The fruits of karmas performed in this life will add to my sanchita karma. If I cannot exhaust my prarabdha or do bad karma in this life, I will be reborn again and again till I exhaust them. I have to break this cycle in this lifetime itself and only Sanatan Sanstha and my devotion to my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale can break this cycle. Leaving Sanatan Ashram Ponda is not a choice because it will cause bad karma. It will affect not only me but my entire family. They will have to suffer because it is their attachment which is causing these feelings in me. Otherwise, how can anyone even think of leaving the Chaitanya of the ashram.

Such impure thoughts affect my Guru and he has to bear the fruits. He is like a sponge. He takes away our bad karmas and ingests them. As a result, he has to suffer, these manifests in many ways and we get the physical proof when we look at his body closely.

Grounded with little hope

I spend the next month or so doing little of importance. I stay behind at the ashram because I have no other place. I have reduced the contact with my family to a bare minimum. I call them only when required; when I require something. My parents have also lost hope as it is almost six months and I have not visited them or even called them. I tried to invite them to the ashram for father’s treatment but they rebuffed me. I felt insulted and broke up the contact. So, I am grounded at Sanatan Ashram Ponda with little hope. I slog through and hope and pray to God and my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale to bring some solution to this problem. Sanatan must be testing my patience.

I think that the issue can get resolved if I manage to bring my daughter to the ashram and make her stay with me. She has learning difficulties and has had to repeat. My husband is unable to devote time and I can take advantage of the situation.

Sanatan Sanstha has grounded me once again. This has happened several times and I am unable to get to the bottom of the problem. Sanatan blames my prarabdha and my ego for such repeated issues. But, sometimes; just sometimes, I think I am not to blame. 

The only solution is to bring my daughter to Sanatan Ashram Ponda.

Rakshak to the defence – again

The shock is too much for me. I have not attended any session in the evening nor have I eaten dinner. I refuse to speak to anyone. I am not crying, I am beyond crying. For the time in more than 40 years, I feel I am alone; totally alone in this world. I hate my husband; he should have at least told me. Why did he always lie that they were okay? That they did not want to talk to me. Why did my little brother not talk to me?

A helping hand

I am lying on my bed; I am unable to sleep. All around me, sadhaks are going through the daily routine prescribed by Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi. I am all alone in this vast world. I feel like I am falling in a big black hole. I can only think of my father; waiting for his darling Barbie to come and see him. I think of running away, running away from Sanatan Sanstha for a day and dashing off to see my father.

I feel a hand on my head, a little after midnight, after everyone has gone to sleep. My rakshak whispers in my ear softly and asks me to follow her. She takes me to a small room, a small dark room and closes the door. She takes me in her arms and whispers in my ears. I cannot control myself and start crying – not sobbing but crying softly. She lets me cry my heart out. When I cannot cry anymore she gives me a glass of water and some biscuits to eat. I don’t know from where she has managed these. She is dependent on the sanstha’s handouts for her daily needs.

I tell her about the news, about my father, about his illness. I open up about everything, I open my heart out. And start crying again.

The morning after

Sometime during all this, she leads me to another room with a bed and makes me go to sleep. I wake up to find her sitting on a stool holding my hand and staring at nothing. She seems to be crying. I again drift into sleep.

She wakes me up at around 5 am. Asks me to freshen up and wash my face with cold water. After I am through, she preaches me, preaches about how life is not always a bed of roses. But, most important of all, she advices me on how to handle the situation. She tells me how Sanatan Sanstha functions and what actions they will take if they know that I am thinking of visiting my parents. She coaches me and coaxes me to remain firm, strong and behave as if everything is okay. I have to maintain my routine; I have to continue with life.

There is no escape; I cannot escape. It is my prarabdha and I have to live through it; I have to experience it myself. My karmas during this time will define what I am and what I can become.

What is Personality Defect Removal Process at Sanatan Sanstha

Sanatan Sanstha asks me to remove Personality Defects

Sanatan Sanstha is now dictating all my thoughts. Their process of personality development is through the removal of personality defects. They assume that once such defects are removed, positive personality traits will take their place. I have identified several such personality defects and freely share them with the sanstha. I do not feel ashamed about sharing my inner feelings with them; frankly, I have never shared such feelings with even my husband and mind you, we were quite open with each other. I suddenly start feeling liberated, I feel that I have been repressed throughout my life.

I am asked to write down all defects. I write down two complete pages. Ego is identified as my biggest personality defect. All sadhaks agree and I am asked to with them; I don’t think ego is the biggest one. They convince me that I don’t agree because of my ego.

The personality defect removal process is referred to as PDR in short. It is a very important part of our sadhana. We spend about 60 to 70% of our time in this. Due to this, we become convinced that we are full of defects and only the Guru, none other than Dr. Jayant Athavale can rectify these defects. We are also told that during this process, we should always ask for directions from God and our Guru.

The Process of Personality Defect Removal

The personality defect removal process is very simple and elaborate. It consists of the following steps:

• Identify our own personality defects and write them down. Write down the corresponding positive trait in front of each one.
• Make a chart of auto suggestions. A chart is provided for ready reference.
• The process of framing auto-suggestions and the frequency of auto-suggestion sessions is decided by the kendra in charge, a person who oversees the kendra. He will consult the zila sevak, if required.
• Sanatan Sanstha has recommended that I do between five to ten sessions daily. Each session takes about 30 minutes. My personality defects are very deep rooted and will take many such sessions to be removed.
• Take a pledge that such defects will not be repeated in future.
• Do atonement if the defect occurs again. Atonement can be done by sacrificing things one likes the most. I like to eat good food and interact with my daughter. I reduce my interactions with my daughter. I rarely speak to her. This is my atonement.
• Report the progress every day.

The process is now taking up most of my time. I hardly get time to complete household chores and my family suffers. During arguments, I tell them that the fruits of my sadhana will benefit the complete family. My good deeds will benefit the complete family. So what if they remain hungry once in a while or if the home becomes dirty and disorganized? These are all external issues; they do not matter to the self. I forget that once upon a time, I had told the family that Karma cannot be shared with others.

The family is now in a total state of disarray. My husband and my loving daughter are aliens to me and I am an alien to them. I do not bother. I am removing all negative energies from me; I am one with Sanatan Sanstha.