Spirituality at Sanatan Ashram Ponda

What about spirituality at Sanatan Ashram Ponda? Am I really doing anything to increase my spiritual knowledge? Is Sanatan Sanstha teaching me about any significant spiritual practices? Well, if you consider personality defect removal process or PDR as a significant spiritual practice, then I spend a considerable part of my time in spiritual practice. I also attend several satsangs; the topics are generally repetitive and stress on Dr Jayant Athavale and his beliefs. Some of them are about naamjap and the importance of different names of God and which name we should chant. Overall, I must be spending about 4-6 hours daily in these activities, but as I am also involved in other sevas; I am part of the Swagat Kaksh at Sanatan Ashram Ponda, it is less.

Sevas equal Spirituality at Sanatan Sanstha

Other sadhaks at Sanatan Ashram Ponda spend considerable time doing naamjap. I know several sadhaks who would spend upwards to 10 hours in this chanting activity. They had several personality defects and the sanstha had advised them that chanting only could rid them of their personality defects.

All sadhaks had to participate in various activities inside the ashram. It operated as a cooperative society with responsibilities divided among the various members. We were not paid anything for the time and effort spent in these sevas. It was said that these sevas were meant to be part of our spiritual practices. I fail to understand how a service at the ashram qualifies as spiritual practices while the same done at one’s home does not. I could not raise such queries otherwise I would again have to do penance; I had experienced it many times. My attitude of questioning had landed me in hot waters

many times and though I had full faith in Dr Jayant Athavale, I was learning how to handle politics in Sanatan Sanstha. This was definitely politics; or was it? Was it a psychological method aimed at mind control. Was Sanatan using these techniques to strengthen their hold over us, using this to control our minds? Why were we unable to question such practises, why, we – independent women in our own rights, unable to raise our voices against injustices? Why were we helpless, why did we feel hopeless?

Spirituality at Sanatan Ashram Ponda

We give free service to Sanatan Ashram Ponda and equate it with spirituality. It is true across ashrams across India and maybe the rest of the world. There is nothing wrong about this. What is wrong is that only occupants of the ashram must give this seva. Outsiders, including sadhaks are not required to do this. They can spend their time as they want to. We stay at the ashram of Sanatan Sanstha and we do not or cannot pay for our lodging and boarding. The sanstha recovers the cost in this manner. They use us as slaves. As it is cloaked in spirituality, we do not feel a burden. But frankly, we are slaves of Dr Jayant Athavale both in mind and body. We are not independent; we cannot think independently. Sanatan Sanstha has taken away this ability from us and we are proud of this fact.

God, please help us to come out of this maya jaal. Only you can save us from Dr Jayant Athavale and Sanatan Sanstha. Many sadhaks staying at Sanatan Ashram Ponda pray to God to seek His intervention; He blesses only some of us.

Grounded again at Sanatan Ashram Ponda

The uproar over the innocent comment refuses to die down at Sanatan Ashram Ponda. I am now officially grounded and barred from any type of seva. I spend the entire day within the ashram premises and can participate only in satsangs or other activities going on at the ashram. It is also conveyed that I can leave Sanatan Sanstha for good and return to my home but in the same manner, I am also told of the effects of doing so.

Prarabdha and Karma

Sanatan tells me that I am suffering because of the prarabdha – fruits of karmas of past lives. Prarabdha has to be experienced in the present life and exhausted in this life itself. The fruits of karmas performed in this life will add to my sanchita karma. If I cannot exhaust my prarabdha or do bad karma in this life, I will be reborn again and again till I exhaust them. I have to break this cycle in this lifetime itself and only Sanatan Sanstha and my devotion to my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale can break this cycle. Leaving Sanatan Ashram Ponda is not a choice because it will cause bad karma. It will affect not only me but my entire family. They will have to suffer because it is their attachment which is causing these feelings in me. Otherwise, how can anyone even think of leaving the Chaitanya of the ashram.

Such impure thoughts affect my Guru and he has to bear the fruits. He is like a sponge. He takes away our bad karmas and ingests them. As a result, he has to suffer, these manifests in many ways and we get the physical proof when we look at his body closely.

Grounded with little hope

I spend the next month or so doing little of importance. I stay behind at the ashram because I have no other place. I have reduced the contact with my family to a bare minimum. I call them only when required; when I require something. My parents have also lost hope as it is almost six months and I have not visited them or even called them. I tried to invite them to the ashram for father’s treatment but they rebuffed me. I felt insulted and broke up the contact. So, I am grounded at Sanatan Ashram Ponda with little hope. I slog through and hope and pray to God and my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale to bring some solution to this problem. Sanatan must be testing my patience.

I think that the issue can get resolved if I manage to bring my daughter to the ashram and make her stay with me. She has learning difficulties and has had to repeat. My husband is unable to devote time and I can take advantage of the situation.

Sanatan Sanstha has grounded me once again. This has happened several times and I am unable to get to the bottom of the problem. Sanatan blames my prarabdha and my ego for such repeated issues. But, sometimes; just sometimes, I think I am not to blame. 

The only solution is to bring my daughter to Sanatan Ashram Ponda.

Sanatan Ashram Ponda and routine life

Life at Sanatan Ashram Ponda is now settling down to a routine. My day is managed and controlled by the sanstha. They have developed a routine and I follow it religiously. The day is divided into different activities called seva. Some part is devoted for spiritual enlightenment, some for chanting, a major part  personality defect removal process and the rest for contemplation.

Samashti Seva

I like to meet new people and can converse fluently with them. Sanatan Sanstha has identified this as my strength. I also like to travel to new places and am comfortable traveling in local buses and finding my way back. I am also able to convince people to join the sanstha and request for donations, sell our newsletters and other publications. In fact, I was collecting the highest amount of donations in my area and this was praised by the saints many times during their regular visits to Satara.

It is but natural that Sanatan Ashram Ponda gives this seva to me. I am first asked to tour all over Goa till they decide which area can accommodate me. I travel to their Panaji, Madgaon and Ponda area offices as well as the sub-offices under them. My rakshak has been given a different work (I think, they do not like our bond) and I do not have any regular coordinator. However, a sadhak (generally male) must accompany me during any visit outside the ashram. Generally, the localites pick and drop me. This is a logistical nightmare, as a person staying at Panaji has to travel 40 kilometres to pick me, we travel another 40-50 kilometres to reach Panaji and the same kilometres for the return journey. Besides wasting time and money, it stifles me as I am an independent woman and do not like to be dependent on others.

However, Sanatan Sanstha terms this as samashti seva for the sadhaks and does not allow me to venture out alone.

Danger venturing alone

I am told that there is danger in venturing alone. Evil forces are shadowing us and attack sadhaks travelling alone. Several have been attacked in the past and women sadhaks have been harassed. I have never faced such issues in the past nor have I heard of such things. But, the sanstha puts its foot down firmly and I have to follow their instructions.

Because of this inconvenience, I miss my lunch or dinner many times. By the time I return, lunch or dinner hours are over and I don’t get anything to eat. I have to go to sleep hungry. The ashram forbids personal food of any kind, nor am I allowed to eat outside. I am told that the enemies may try to poison me. As I am accompanied by sadhaks everywhere, I have to suffer this.

The samashti seva is praised profusely and in many satsangs and bhaitaks it is repeated that I am sacrificing even my food so that there is no disturbance in my seva.

The time spent in such sevas leaves me very little time to contact my family. I am unable to attend to their phone calls. In fact, I tell them or call them very late at night when I know that they must be sleeping. The fragile bond breaks further.

Sanatan Sanstha differentiates sevas

 Sanatan Sanstha defines Seva and Sadhana

I had always assumed that sadhana and seva are different until Sanatan Sanstha started differentiating between them. Sadhana was practice or learning about religion; it entailed learning about our holy scripts. Seva, on the other hand, was more about selfless service to the society. Sanatan says that this is incorrect. Seva and sadhana are one and the same thing.

Worshiping is not important, Seva is

According to the sanstha’s philosophy and our Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale’s methods, there is no need to worship, Pooja is not that important, seva is most important and we should spend maximum time in naamjap and seva. Pooja is said to be used by lazy people. We should do sadhana. Sadhana is divided into two types:

• Vyashti Sadhana: This sadhana is done with the objective of self. Personality defect removal is termed as Vyashti Sadhana. This type of sadhana is termed as inferior by the sanstha as it is led by selfish motives.
• Samashti Sadhana: This sadhana is the true sadhana and gives superior results. We must actively propagate Dharma by holding satsangs at our home, spreading the message of Sanatan Sanstha and distributing newsletters and periodicals. We should actively search for donation givers and induce them to give as much as possible.

A question that is natural to us is that why should Samashti sadhana be given more importance. There are no quotes from scriptures or holy books. This is true because Sanatan Sanstha says so, no questions asked.

Samashti Sadhana and Sanatan Sanstha

Samashti seva means propagating the message of Dr Jayant Athavale, plain and simple. It involves meeting people and converting them to Sanatan. It involves collecting donations. It involves selling the sanstha’s products. Now I realise why this is important to Sanatan, why it is given more importance. Holding rallies, selling periodicals or collecting donations does not lead to spiritual growth. All religions, including Sanatan Dharma, says that we should pray to the respective Gods to seek their blessings and get spiritual knowledge.

Hindu Dharma has four margs (paths) to attain Mooksha, they are

• Bhakti Marg: Through chanting the name of God, performing Pooja and other stipulated rituals with a clean body and mind.
• Jnana Marg: Through study of scriptures and vedas.
• Karma Marg: Performing one’s duties and responsibilities without any selfish motive.
• Dhyana Marg: Through trance like state, doing continuous meditation.

Sanatan Sanstha does not talk of any of these, they have a different method, they are diverting from Hinduism. Their brand of spiritualism is different; they have their own terminology. They stress that only samashti sadhana is needed. They are trying to establish their own brand of Sanatan Dharma; one defined by them and to be followed exclusively by their followers. No questions asked…

This becomes evident to outsiders and that is why they do not support the sanstha. They oppose the sanstha. Sanatan Sanstha also believes in blind faith and superstition. It tries to practice black magic. It tries to control the minds of its followers.

This is why others are unhappy with it.

But, I am on the path of Anand, Bliss as defined by Sanatan Sanstha. I have no control on myself; neither in mind or body or spirit.