Life at Sanatan Ashram Ponda is now settling down to a routine. My day is managed and controlled by the sanstha. They have developed a routine and I follow it religiously. The day is divided into different activities called seva. Some part is devoted for spiritual enlightenment, some for chanting, a major part personality defect removal process and the rest for contemplation.
Samashti Seva
I like to meet new people and can converse fluently with them. Sanatan Sanstha has identified this as my strength. I also like to travel to new places and am comfortable traveling in local buses and finding my way back. I am also able to convince people to join the sanstha and request for donations, sell our newsletters and other publications. In fact, I was collecting the highest amount of donations in my area and this was praised by the saints many times during their regular visits to Satara.
It is but natural that Sanatan Ashram Ponda gives this seva to me. I am first asked to tour all over Goa till they decide which area can accommodate me. I travel to their Panaji, Madgaon and Ponda area offices as well as the sub-offices under them. My rakshak has been given a different work (I think, they do not like our bond) and I do not have any regular coordinator. However, a sadhak (generally male) must accompany me during any visit outside the ashram. Generally, the localites pick and drop me. This is a logistical nightmare, as a person staying at Panaji has to travel 40 kilometres to pick me, we travel another 40-50 kilometres to reach Panaji and the same kilometres for the return journey. Besides wasting time and money, it stifles me as I am an independent woman and do not like to be dependent on others.
However, Sanatan Sanstha terms this as samashti seva for the sadhaks and does not allow me to venture out alone.
Danger venturing alone
I am told that there is danger in venturing alone. Evil forces are shadowing us and attack sadhaks travelling alone. Several have been attacked in the past and women sadhaks have been harassed. I have never faced such issues in the past nor have I heard of such things. But, the sanstha puts its foot down firmly and I have to follow their instructions.
Because of this inconvenience, I miss my lunch or dinner many times. By the time I return, lunch or dinner hours are over and I don’t get anything to eat. I have to go to sleep hungry. The ashram forbids personal food of any kind, nor am I allowed to eat outside. I am told that the enemies may try to poison me. As I am accompanied by sadhaks everywhere, I have to suffer this.
The samashti seva is praised profusely and in many satsangs and bhaitaks it is repeated that I am sacrificing even my food so that there is no disturbance in my seva.
The time spent in such sevas leaves me very little time to contact my family. I am unable to attend to their phone calls. In fact, I tell them or call them very late at night when I know that they must be sleeping. The fragile bond breaks further.
No comments:
Post a Comment