Grounded again at Sanatan Ashram Ponda

The uproar over the innocent comment refuses to die down at Sanatan Ashram Ponda. I am now officially grounded and barred from any type of seva. I spend the entire day within the ashram premises and can participate only in satsangs or other activities going on at the ashram. It is also conveyed that I can leave Sanatan Sanstha for good and return to my home but in the same manner, I am also told of the effects of doing so.

Prarabdha and Karma

Sanatan tells me that I am suffering because of the prarabdha – fruits of karmas of past lives. Prarabdha has to be experienced in the present life and exhausted in this life itself. The fruits of karmas performed in this life will add to my sanchita karma. If I cannot exhaust my prarabdha or do bad karma in this life, I will be reborn again and again till I exhaust them. I have to break this cycle in this lifetime itself and only Sanatan Sanstha and my devotion to my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale can break this cycle. Leaving Sanatan Ashram Ponda is not a choice because it will cause bad karma. It will affect not only me but my entire family. They will have to suffer because it is their attachment which is causing these feelings in me. Otherwise, how can anyone even think of leaving the Chaitanya of the ashram.

Such impure thoughts affect my Guru and he has to bear the fruits. He is like a sponge. He takes away our bad karmas and ingests them. As a result, he has to suffer, these manifests in many ways and we get the physical proof when we look at his body closely.

Grounded with little hope

I spend the next month or so doing little of importance. I stay behind at the ashram because I have no other place. I have reduced the contact with my family to a bare minimum. I call them only when required; when I require something. My parents have also lost hope as it is almost six months and I have not visited them or even called them. I tried to invite them to the ashram for father’s treatment but they rebuffed me. I felt insulted and broke up the contact. So, I am grounded at Sanatan Ashram Ponda with little hope. I slog through and hope and pray to God and my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale to bring some solution to this problem. Sanatan must be testing my patience.

I think that the issue can get resolved if I manage to bring my daughter to the ashram and make her stay with me. She has learning difficulties and has had to repeat. My husband is unable to devote time and I can take advantage of the situation.

Sanatan Sanstha has grounded me once again. This has happened several times and I am unable to get to the bottom of the problem. Sanatan blames my prarabdha and my ego for such repeated issues. But, sometimes; just sometimes, I think I am not to blame. 

The only solution is to bring my daughter to Sanatan Ashram Ponda.