Sanatan Sanstha and My Personal Life
The blog is not a very structured one though I have tried to give it a definite structure. I remember some things after the next step has been published. My mind is still a jumble of disorganized thoughts and emotions. The blog is releasing my inner frustrations but I am yet to clear my mind totally, it is helping me get Sanatan Sanstha out of my system.
One important issue was touched very briefly in my earlier blog. I have talked about how the Sanstha created fissures between me and my family. How a truthful and God fearing woman started resorting to lies and untruths.
Sanatan was very devious in many such manners as well as far as my family relations were concerned. They knew that I was brought up with a traditional mindset and that I would respect my family more than others. They also knew that a metro born and brought up woman (I was born and brought up in Pune) was finding life in a small town (my husband is based at Satara) very stifling.
I had a job in Pune before marriage. I was living a carefree life with no concern about money and financial issues. My family gave me complete freedom. The shift to Satara changed everything. I lost my job and could not find another equivalent job in Satara. I tried hard and to be honest; my husband also tried to help me. The only jobs available were far below my educational standards and experience. I tried a couple of them but could never adjust.
The Family is everything
The focus then changed to the family. Living in a small town with all relatives close by increased my workload. Someone would drop in almost daily without any warning. My in-laws stayed with us and they would invite the guests to take food with us. Some of the relatives came from nearby villages and I was asked to guide them around the town and help them with the purchases. My time was never mine to spend. I had no free time. Relatives from my side of the family would always comment on my status. I felt that they were demeaning me. My husband would not understand these things. He was too simplistic, he believed that everyone had only the good of others on their mind.
A daughter was born after some years of my married life. This added to my burden. I was too overwhelmed. I thought I was drowning.
Sanatan Sanstha came to my rescue. It gave me a hand. I grasped it. I started spending my free time with them slowly at first. My in-laws gave me freedom to do as I pleased, they did not have the traditional way of thinking. They were very progressive, in fact, at one point they asked to search for in Pune and return to Satara only during holidays and weekly off.
The sanstha gave me hope for a better future. It should be the golden pot at the end of the rainbow. I grasped at it. I was eager to get the golden pot before it was too late.
Sanatan Sanstha changes the rules
But after a couple of years, Sanatan Sanstha changed the game. I got so much involved that I started neglecting my family. I used to spend more time now with the sanstha both physically and mentally. My in-laws were the first to notice this.
The changes, though small in nature, were life changing ones.
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