Freedom at last

The transit and Sanatan Sanstha

Sanatan Sanstha has identified the route, has made fool proof plans and coordinated my escape. My escape from a stifling environment, from relationships that were binding me down and were not allowing me to fly away, were not allowing me to follow the spiritual path and were stopping me from going on the path of Moksha. I am free, totally free.

Why am I feeling empty inside me? Is it because of the tensions, is it because of the hunger (I have not eaten anything throughout the day) or is it the feeling of Chaitanya? Am I really free?

I reach Sanatan Sanstha ashram Devad. I am not accustomed to traveling alone but the sadhaks have told me that I have to make this journey alone. It is symbolic, very symbolic. I am touched, I have cried throughout the journey and am excited to have at last reached my destination. The Devad ashram is only a transit point, it exists to filter the essentials from the non-essentials.

I catch an auto from the bus-stop and reach the ashram. As per the instructions, I call up my husband and inform him that I am at Panvel and I am safe. Why should I tell him? I am leaving him finally. I don’t question the instructions, but the first doubt comes to my mind.

Why inform my husband?

The Sanatan Sanstha Ashram Devad is a welcome sight. I feel as if I have reached a holy place; I bow down my head and kiss the steps. Some sadhaks are loitering near the entrance. They ask my identity and immediately a couple of them take me to the main room. Others close the main gates arnd arrange themselves around it.

The first question I am asked is; have I informed my husband? Have I told him that I am at Devad ashram? Have I given a written statement at the police station? No questions about my health, if I have eaten anything, nothing? I reply to all their questions and take a look at the main room. There are several other sadhaks and all appear to be waiting for something to happen; they appear to be tense.

I am given something to eat and I retire for the night. I am accompanied by two or three female sadhaks. They too appear nervous but don’t discuss anything. We go to sleep, but I cannot sleep. I lie awake the full night thinking about my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale and seekings his blessings.

The next morning, I again notice many sadhaks roaming around in the compound. All people appear to be tense. I have not yet switched on my mobile. Now, I am advised to do so and respond to all calls and tell everyone that I am at Sanatan Sanstha Ashram Devad.

This cycle repeats for one complete week. There are no activities throughout the day but only counseling sessions. The police phone me up one day to gather my whereabouts. I am told to expect the call and am also told to contact one person before responding. I reply as per his instructions.

What is Sanatan Sanstha waiting for? Why am I not allowed to proceed towards Goa?

Flying away

The bird has flown

The time between the last big fight and my flight has given me time to plan my escape. It has given time to Sanatan Sanstha to make certain arrangements. The flight has been planned very professionally. The final decision is mine, it seems. But the sanstha has been egging me during the last ten-day period. Some sadhaks are always near my house within shouting distance. They have been told to create a ruckus in case I shout for help. I am told to shout for help in case my family does something.

Some sadhaks phone me regularly, they call me every hour and particularly when my husband is not at home. They get this information from the watchers. I am encouraged by their words; they praise me for the bold step that I am about to take. They speak as if they are worshipping me. They tell me how proud my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale will be of me; how I am an example to the society.

They have shown me how to reach Sanatan Sanstha Ashram at Devad, Panvel. I should take a bus as my family can stop the train and check anytime they want to. I should reach the Panvel Ashram on my own, otherwise, the sanstha can be accused of kidnapping.

I have to give a written statement to the nearest police station stating that I have been harassed by my husband and I am going to Goa for meditation.

Once I reach Panvel, Sanatan Sanstha will step in and make all arrangements. I should not fear as I am doing the right thing.

The flight

The big day comes. I wake up early in the morning and pray to Dr Jayant Athavale to give me strength and lead me on the right path.

I notice that the sadhaks have all withdrawn and there is nobody watching the home.

My husband leaves for his bank at his usual time.

I tell my daughter that I have an errand and will come late, I cannot look into her eyes. I don’t want to look her in the eyes. She is a traitor; she is one of them. Let her suffer like the rest of them.

I switch off my mobile and fly. Fly away to freedom, free from harassment, free to live my own life on my own terms. Free to devote my life with my body and mind for Sanatan Sanstha. Free of the materialistic world. Running on the path of Sanatan Dharma towards moksha guided by my guru, Dr Jayant Athavale.

At last, I am free.

Sanatan Sanstha and one week at Devad

My flight from my home has been an exhilarating experience; aided actively by Sanatan Sanstha. I feel as if I am in a kind of stupor. But the next seven days bring me down to earth. I am stuck up at the Devad ashram. I am not allowed to even go out in the compound but kept all day inside the ashram. There are several counselling sessions but no spiritual activity. All sadhaks appear to be tense and uneasy. I get a very nervous feeling but think that my hyper-sensitive nerves are to be blamed. I am counselled by many people; advocates meet me and question about the nature of my husband. When I tell them that he is very docile, they appear to be disappointed. A lady psychologist speaks to me at length. Some people with considerable authority also meet me. The initial questions relate more about my family. I think they are trying to gauge their reactions or are they trying to provoke a particular reaction?

I was asked to keep in touch with my husband and was coached on what to speak and what to speak. I was also to invite them to visit me at the ashram. I and the sanstha were both surprised when this did not happen. My parents also never called me up, why?

This is around the same time that news about the abduction of two sisters by Sanatan Sanstha had broken in media channels. I never met them and I was told that they had been shifted to a safer place. The media attention was much appreciated as the sanstha got an opportunity to air their views. Yet, some people appeared tense. I realised much later when I was on the other side of the table.

Transit to Ramnathi

Finally, after one complete week, I left for Goa. All arrangements had been made by Sanatan Sanstha, even ticket booking was done by them. They had also arranged for an auto to drop me to Panvel station. I was accompanied by two male sadhaks.

Finally, upon arrival at Madgaon railway station, I felt relief. I visualised Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale welcoming me and trust me I could feel him and his Chaitanya. A car was waiting to pick me up.

There were smiling faces in the ashram. I was welcomed and everybody rushed to welcome me. After Devad, this was very welcome. I could gauge the difference between Devad and Ramnathi immediately.

Why was there so much difference between Devad and Ramnathi? Why were sadhaks tense at Devad? Were they waiting for some unpleasantness? It appeared that they were looking forward to it and were disappointed when it did not happen. Was I the cause for all this? Was I expected to do something?

I did not dwell on these issues; I was busy soaking up the Chaitanya of the ashram. I felt as if I was reborn and the rebirth would now lead me on the right path.