Reassignment at Sanatan Ashram Ponda

Sanatan Sanstha punishes me for a minor slip of the tongue at one satsang at Sanatan Ashram Ponda. I get very emotional about this but do not let it affect my resolve. I am firm that I will serve my Guru Dr Jayant Athavale and seek spiritual growth under his guidance. I am ready to enlist my daughter into the fold of Sanatan and also reach out to my husband. In short, I am ready to do anything. Anything except see the writing on the wall. The writing clearly says that Sanatan Sanstha practices mind control techniques; it lures women and men alike and controls their minds; makes them do what the sanstha wants.

 Swagat kaksh at Sanatan Ashram Ponda

I think my resolve wins in the end and I am reassigned to be part of the Swagat Kaksh at Sanatan Ashram Ponda. Every day I report to the main reception area. My job is to handle the telephone console and pass on important messages to the concerned sadhaks. I should be aware of the various activities of the ashram as well as arrival and departure of many important sadhaks. I am also responsible for informing them about any raids by police or any other government agencies. The responsibility is enormous as Sanatan Sanstha has been raided several times in the past. However, in most cases, they were unable to find what they were after. It is the responsibility of the Swagat Kaksh at Sanatan Ashram Ponda to give information as fast as possible so that necessary arrangements can be made.

I take this as a challenging job and handle all the calls.

Frantic relatives and a stone wall

I also serve as a stone wall between frantic relatives and runaway sadhaks. I must have encountered about a dozen such cases. When a runaway sadhak reaches Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi, we generally put a safety net over her. She is handled very carefully. The relatives may lure her away from Sanatan Sanstha else they may create a ruckus at the ashram premises. We actually like it if they create a scene and pick up a fight. Our media arm has good connections with sympathetic media organizations. These media persons can reach the ashram within minutes and cover the whole episode very well. They also give a sympathetic angle so that Sanatan comes out like a good organization being harassed by evil doers.

This has a ripple effect and our sadhaks who wish to fly away to the ashram are motivated to do so. We also attract several other seekers. The concerned sadhak also loses faith in her family and starts trusting Sanatan Sanstha completely. She becomes a permanent feature at Sanatan Ashram Ponda. She hands over control of mind to Dr Jayant Athavale.

Apart from this seva, I have to offer seva in the kitchen. Now, I get sufficient time to attend all satsangs and also participate in many activities. I get my food on time. I think that I am redeemed finally and Sanatan Sanstha has finally and totally accepted me.

I belong to Dr Jayant Athavale and Sanatan Sanstha.

Morning routine at Sanatan Ashram Ponda

My day at Sanatan Ashram Ponda starts at 6.00 am officially as decided by Sanatan Sanstha. I usually get up early at around 5.00 am and do some surya namkaskar. I have been facing turbulent times owing to the negative energies unleashed by my family and Surya Namaskar helps me to negate the effect. This has been prescribed by the sanstha as naamjap is not helping me much.

The routine at Sanatan Sanstha

The day at Sanatan Ashram Ponda starts at 6.00 am when all the followers of Sanatan Sanstha get up to start their daily routine. We offer thanks to God for allowing us one more day in which we can provide service to our Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale. Then we get busy in cleaning ourselves. Sanatan has prescribed the ideal way for these activities and these have been ingrained by us totally. There is a different system of taking bath, we are advised to take bath without removing the clothes. This has to be done so that the positive energies accumulated during the night stay at the ashram are not washed away. I think, this rule has been implemented as bathing space is restricted and there is no privacy. But, I cannot question the rule otherwise I will be called a non-believer and will again have to undergo penance.

Once these activities are completed, we can proceed to have our breakfast. This is referred as Nahari in our parlance. We communicate through special words; this makes us feel important and part of a group. There are many such words and phrases and these are not known to others; not even by ordinary sadhaks. Breakfast is simple and wholesome and consists mainly of upma or any other Indian preparation. Tea, coffee or any other preparation is available as per requirement.

Chanting and PDR process

Immediately after breakfast, we start the naamjap at the meditation room. Generally, a small Pooja is held every day; but this is not elaborate. The Chaitanya at the ashram is at such a high level that such traditions need not be followed there. I found this difficult to digest as a ritual like the Morning Pooja is practiced everywhere. But I could not question, I had no right to question my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale. The naamjap or chanting sessions would last for almost 2 hours followed by at least one hour for in-depth analysis of personality defects. Inmates in teams of 20 each would gather around a coordinator and identify the defects identified during the previous day. These would be analyzed by the group and the coordinator would identify the correct process to rid them.

Both these sessions used to tire me out as I noticed that much of the time was taken up in identifying my defects. I assumed this was because the others were participating for many years and had rid themselves of their personality defects. Sanatan Sanstha attributed the tiredness to the negative energy within me and I would be advised to attend a satsang for the next couple of hours.

As I was involved in samashti seva and would have to leave immediately, I would have to attend the satsangs late in the evening.

The morning sessions were packed back to back with little time gaps in between. This was done to take advantage of the positive energies of the environment and to charge us up for the daily routine. However, these left me feeling very tired.

Sanatan Ashram Ponda and routine life

Life at Sanatan Ashram Ponda is now settling down to a routine. My day is managed and controlled by the sanstha. They have developed a routine and I follow it religiously. The day is divided into different activities called seva. Some part is devoted for spiritual enlightenment, some for chanting, a major part  personality defect removal process and the rest for contemplation.

Samashti Seva

I like to meet new people and can converse fluently with them. Sanatan Sanstha has identified this as my strength. I also like to travel to new places and am comfortable traveling in local buses and finding my way back. I am also able to convince people to join the sanstha and request for donations, sell our newsletters and other publications. In fact, I was collecting the highest amount of donations in my area and this was praised by the saints many times during their regular visits to Satara.

It is but natural that Sanatan Ashram Ponda gives this seva to me. I am first asked to tour all over Goa till they decide which area can accommodate me. I travel to their Panaji, Madgaon and Ponda area offices as well as the sub-offices under them. My rakshak has been given a different work (I think, they do not like our bond) and I do not have any regular coordinator. However, a sadhak (generally male) must accompany me during any visit outside the ashram. Generally, the localites pick and drop me. This is a logistical nightmare, as a person staying at Panaji has to travel 40 kilometres to pick me, we travel another 40-50 kilometres to reach Panaji and the same kilometres for the return journey. Besides wasting time and money, it stifles me as I am an independent woman and do not like to be dependent on others.

However, Sanatan Sanstha terms this as samashti seva for the sadhaks and does not allow me to venture out alone.

Danger venturing alone

I am told that there is danger in venturing alone. Evil forces are shadowing us and attack sadhaks travelling alone. Several have been attacked in the past and women sadhaks have been harassed. I have never faced such issues in the past nor have I heard of such things. But, the sanstha puts its foot down firmly and I have to follow their instructions.

Because of this inconvenience, I miss my lunch or dinner many times. By the time I return, lunch or dinner hours are over and I don’t get anything to eat. I have to go to sleep hungry. The ashram forbids personal food of any kind, nor am I allowed to eat outside. I am told that the enemies may try to poison me. As I am accompanied by sadhaks everywhere, I have to suffer this.

The samashti seva is praised profusely and in many satsangs and bhaitaks it is repeated that I am sacrificing even my food so that there is no disturbance in my seva.

The time spent in such sevas leaves me very little time to contact my family. I am unable to attend to their phone calls. In fact, I tell them or call them very late at night when I know that they must be sleeping. The fragile bond breaks further.