Circle of life at Sanatan Sanstha

Life soon settled down at Sanatan Sanstha. I was totally occupied in the daily routine and had little time and inclination to communicate with either my parents or family. They were in the grip of demonic spirits and were always lying and cheating and betraying my trust in them. Sanatan Ashram Ponda was my home and I was immersing myself in its Chaitanya under the blessings of my Guru Dr Jayant Athavale.

Prarabdh and Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi

It was not always smooth sailing at Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi. Life always is full of ups and downs. The character of a person is built on handling such ups and downs. Our Hindu Dharma says that prarabdha are the fruits of past karmas that we experience in this life. How we tackle them (karma) defines what fruits we get. Sanatan has taught this to me and I can understand the deep spiritual meaning of these words. I know that my family – my husband and my daughter are suffering because of their prarabdha and if they help me through their good karmas, they too will be able to escape from the unending cycle of life and death. I do not have any bad prarabdha as the stay at Sanatan Ashram Ponda has nullified all negativities of my life – past and present. All my karmas will have a positive impact from now onwards and I will be able to escape from the cycle of life and death in this birth itself.

Ups and downs at Sanatan Sanstha

Though I do only good karma, it is not always smooth sailing. The sanstha has many enlightened souls who identify my personality defects. Some of them are serious enough to warrant sustained penance. The most serious personality defect is my ego. I must face several issues due to this. Let me narrate one small incidence – small in nature but serious in its ramifications.

My samhasthi seva consists of prachar seva and I meet people and explain the importance of protecting Hindu Dharma, the importance of spirituality, the stellar role of Sanatan Sanstha as well as try to collect donations or sell our publications or newsletters. I am good at this and am proud of my performance. One day, I comment during a baithak about a new strategy adopted by me. This is not against Sanatan policy and I feel that if others adopt the policy, they will also be able to match my numbers. The sadhaks thank me for sharing this experience. I have shared it so that the sanstha benefits.

This creates an uproar after the baithak – meeting is over. I am called by the seniors and given a dressing down. They allege that I consider myself above Sanatan; they blame it on my ego. With immediate effect, I am asked to discontinue my prachar work. All benefits are immediately withdrawn. I cannot even leave Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi. Communication is very fast and within one hour the news is spread across all sadhaks.

I am at a loss to understand this. I am doing a good job. Everyone was praising me till the previous day. What did I do wrong to get this punishment?

Afternoon sessions and Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi

The pre-lunch sessions can stretch quite long as I have a tight schedule dictated by Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi. There are times when I miss my lunch. As Sanatan Sanstha has adviced me not to eat food outside, I spend many days without any proper food. It is a small sacrifice I make in the service of my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale and I do not mind it at all; in fact, I am quite proud of this and other sadhaks praise this attitude.

Post-lunch Sessions and Satsangs

Even though I may not have eaten anything, I still must attend the afternoon satsangs. Several personality defects have been identified in the morning sessions and I must do penance to rid them from my inner self. This will enable me to lose myself and my identity. The subjects of these satsangs revolve around Gurukrupayoga, personality defect removal process, importance of Samashti seva as well as importance of traditions and different festivals as prescribed by Sanatan Dharma. Sanatan Sanstha has a very good collection of publications and through the scientific research conducted by Spiritual Science Research Foundation or SSRF in short, they have explained the scientific reasoning behind our traditions.

There are several repetitions in the subjects, I do not mind this. I am still a novice and have a lot to learn. I have sacrificed my life to sit in the lap of my Guru, Dr Jayant Athavale.

Post afternoon sessions

I leave for my prachar work as soon as the satsangs end. I spend about four hours in the morning and afternoon prachar sessions. The return to Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi is around 7 pm, just in time for a light dinner. Dinner is very simple and consists of rice and dal. The hectic schedule and the Chaitanya of the ashram ensures that my diet intake is very less.

I do not mind even though I have lost a lot of weight during the three months at Sanatan Ashram Ponda.

Once our dinner is over, we attend a session of personality defect removal process for a couple of hours. Then, we have free time. We spend this time discussing various issues facing the country and the excellent steps undertaken by Sanatan Sanstha to resolve them. Such discussions generally last for two to three hours and it is generally 11 pm by the time I go to sleep. I don’t feel like sleeping and hence I spend at least another hour or two in doing naamjap – chanting.

I am accountable to my time and feel that sleep is actually a waste of time. I should rather use this time for some productive work. Contacting my family is also a waste of time. I don’t have anything to discuss with them. I don’t attend to their calls most of the days. I hope they get the message and leave me alone. I will contact me when I need something from them, like clothes and money. Otherwise, they should not worry about me and disturb me in my seva. Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi is taking good care and has everything I need.