Life soon settled down at Sanatan Sanstha. I was totally occupied in the daily routine and had little time and inclination to communicate with either my parents or family. They were in the grip of demonic spirits and were always lying and cheating and betraying my trust in them. Sanatan Ashram Ponda was my home and I was immersing myself in its Chaitanya under the blessings of my Guru Dr Jayant Athavale.
Prarabdh and Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi
It was not always smooth sailing at Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi. Life always is full of ups and downs. The character of a person is built on handling such ups and downs. Our Hindu Dharma says that prarabdha are the fruits of past karmas that we experience in this life. How we tackle them (karma) defines what fruits we get. Sanatan has taught this to me and I can understand the deep spiritual meaning of these words. I know that my family – my husband and my daughter are suffering because of their prarabdha and if they help me through their good karmas, they too will be able to escape from the unending cycle of life and death. I do not have any bad prarabdha as the stay at Sanatan Ashram Ponda has nullified all negativities of my life – past and present. All my karmas will have a positive impact from now onwards and I will be able to escape from the cycle of life and death in this birth itself.
Ups and downs at Sanatan Sanstha
Though I do only good karma, it is not always smooth sailing. The sanstha has many enlightened souls who identify my personality defects. Some of them are serious enough to warrant sustained penance. The most serious personality defect is my ego. I must face several issues due to this. Let me narrate one small incidence – small in nature but serious in its ramifications.
My samhasthi seva consists of prachar seva and I meet people and explain the importance of protecting Hindu Dharma, the importance of spirituality, the stellar role of Sanatan Sanstha as well as try to collect donations or sell our publications or newsletters. I am good at this and am proud of my performance. One day, I comment during a baithak about a new strategy adopted by me. This is not against Sanatan policy and I feel that if others adopt the policy, they will also be able to match my numbers. The sadhaks thank me for sharing this experience. I have shared it so that the sanstha benefits.
This creates an uproar after the baithak – meeting is over. I am called by the seniors and given a dressing down. They allege that I consider myself above Sanatan; they blame it on my ego. With immediate effect, I am asked to discontinue my prachar work. All benefits are immediately withdrawn. I cannot even leave Sanatan Ashram Ramnathi. Communication is very fast and within one hour the news is spread across all sadhaks.
I am at a loss to understand this. I am doing a good job. Everyone was praising me till the previous day. What did I do wrong to get this punishment?
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